The tragic event of the yet un-named fish...

Tuesday, September 26, 2006 | Christine at 9/26/2006 10:42:00 PM |

I did seven interviews today. As I sat back and realized that I had 30 minutes before the next potential employee arrived, I noticed the Beta fish that I have on my office windowsill.

I think to myself, "Gee his water looks a little cloudy. I'll go change it."

I carry the bowl into the office kitchen and set a disposable cup in the sink to catch the Beta. I pour some of the dirty water out, and "bloop" out goes the fish, and right down the drain he goes!

"oh shit."

I pull apart the rubber flaps and peer down into the garbage disposal reservoir. I can't bring myself to put my hand down there, even though I can sort of see the Beta flopping around below.

Judy, the office manager hearing my "oh shit" arrives in the kitchen to see what's up.

"Judy! I can't pick up a flopping fish; Can you?" As I'm about to burst out laughing from Judy's horrified expression, in walks the ExecDir, Gail. "Gail, my fish went down the drain and I can't bring myself to pick him out; Can you?" Gail exclaims the third, "I'm not doing it!"

Judy leaves the room and Gail and I stand there staring at the drain, alternating between laughing nervously and me chanting, "I can't do it. I just can't do it. Oh I feel so bad. The poor fish." Finally, I internally give up and start running the water.

"At least it's better than being flushed down the toilet."

"I don't think that it will wash all the way down, though."

"No? Shit. The poor fish."

As we debate the potential future smell and possible solutions, including heartlessly turning on the garbage disposal, Judy arrives with one of my pet-loving employees, Sherry.

"Sherry the Brave" instructs everyone to, "STAND BACK" (then sweetly apologizes "I know your my bosses, but it IS a garbage disposal.") She reaches down, feeling for the flopping Beta fish. She is worrying aloud about pushing him into a blade, then says, "Got him - ooops, don't got him - wait, that's a piece of chicken (tossing it in the trash can) ...Got him - darn it,lost him."

As Judy is dry-heaving over the wad of chicken that Sherry pulled out of the bottom of the reservoir, Gail and I are joking that "At least the Beta fish had some chicken. He's gonna' smell, just like chicken."

Suddenly Sherry shouts, "I WIN!" and tosses the fish into the disposable cup still sitting in the sink. We all cheer and Gail and I comment "Thank God we didn't turn on the garbage disposal after all." Sherry and Judy nearly fell over with horror.

I changed the water, washed the stones and put the Beta back on my office windowsill. To make up for his traumatic events, I'm trying to actually think of a name for him.

I swear, he's glaring at me.